Good for the Soul

Girls night is good for my soul. I love my day/night/life job more than anything; but it's nice to be reminded that I am still young and fun and can look pretty when I actually shower and apply makeup and break out the Louis Vuitton instead of the $19 purse from Target with Cheerios floating around the bottom and partially chewed suckers stuck to the lining. 

Plus,you can't beat the company. 

I love these ladies.

Mommy's Day Off

When you become a parent, whether you are the caregiver or the family provider, there is never a day off. When you're sick, you're still a parent. When you are exhausted from working until 3:00 am with out of town clients, you're still a parent three and a half hours later when little bit wakes up. But in order to keep our sanity, Husband and I try to give each other a "break" every now and then. 

I let him sleep past 6:30. He lets me shower. It's the little things in life.

But, Husband outdid himself for Mother's Day and gave me a day "off." Really, what he gave me was an "Andrew Day." A few years ago, he dubbed the days in which he did whatever he wanted with no schedule and no accountability as "Andrew days." Sometimes, I would go with him. We may get a late lunch and some drinks while watching football on a fall day. We may catch a random movie. But, whatever we did, it was spontaneous - something I find difficult to do these days.

I cashed in my "Andrew Day" this past Sunday. I woke up early with Catherine, mostly because it was 5:30 and Husband was in a coma, but also because I wanted some mommy time before my day "off." We played fetch with Banks in the back yard. We watched some Sesame Street. We read some books. And I rocked her to sleep for her morning nap. Then, it was officially my day!

Because I am a planner, I had to have some sort of schedule for my day and started the day with a late brunch with my sister and my girlfriends. I can't remember the last time we were all together and it was so great catching up with everyone. We celebrated Heather's birthday and talked about new jobs and new houses and important things like the Real Housewives. I love these ladies. They keep me sane.

During brunch, I received this text from Husband: "Is it okay if she eats the yogurt dip by the handful?... Just checking..."

We're going through a dipping stage. She will eat almost anything if she can dip it in this dip, which is plain yogurt, lemon juice, and dill. Ha. Whatever works...

After brunch, a few of us ventured to get mani/pedis. It was much needed and so nice to just relax and talk about nothing in particular. 

Then Ashley and I went to see a chick flick. Husband and I take the occasional movie date night, but I wanted to see something ridiculously cheesy that I knew he would never see with me. So, we went to What to Expect When Expecting. It certainly delivered in the cheesy department, and is probably a renter, but I had so much fun hanging out with Ashley and contemplating buying CKOne and lip gloss from the machine in the bathroom.

I had the best "Andrew day!" I was able to relax, catch up with friends, and enjoy some time to myself. The best part? I came home to dinner, a fridge full of groceries, and was home in time to give C her bubble bath. Time off is needed to keep my sanity, but I'm always happy to come home to my happy little family. 

I have a beautiful life.

Adventures in Sewing

Today is Bid Day at BSC. Since I am one of the alumni advisers for my chapter, and a little Pi Phi obsessed in general, I decided that C must have a "Pi Phi Legacy" dress for her very first bid day. Did I mention I started it last night? I may have overextended myself a bit...


Fact #1: Attempting to sew a dress when you have absolutely no training in (a) how to sew or (b) how to thread your sewing machine will make you feel like an idiot.

Fact #2: Having a machine make you feel inadequate will urge you to retaliate by watching Youtube how-to videos at midnight and refusing to go to sleep until the pillowcase dress is complete.


Fact #3: Monogramming is harder than it seems.

Fact #4: Thank God the tiny person who will be wearing the dress is cute enough to distract from the mess underneath...

Fact #5: I think I  might actually enjoy sewing if I knew what I was doing.


Finished product after much much more time than I should have allotted:

I think this is how Vera started out...

A Very Happy Half Birthday!

6 months old. Has C really been here for half of a year already?! I'm baffled by this.

We spent her official half birthday lounging on the beautiful beaches of the gulf coast. Not bad at all. We then returned to a week of doctor's appointments. It was certainly a reality check.

Her first appointment was with her dermatologist to discuss the progress of her hemangioma. We found out we were turned down for laser treatment by our insurance company. Because C's hemangioma is strictly cosmetic, there was no reason for them to cover the procedure. Dr. Theos did tell me that treatments are relatively affordable even without insurance ($250/procedure with complete treatment taking 4-5 procedures). Still, I left a little disappointed. On a positive note, the clobetasol (steroid cream) is obviously working as the redness in the center is gone and the bump is beginning to somewhat flatten. We still only use it at night (2 weeks on, 1 week off) because it is so strong that it can thin her already delicate skin. We are also continuing the 0.8 mL dose of propranalol (blood pressure medication) every 8 hours. Our next appointment is October 12th and we will reevaluate the situation then. 

8-11-11 (left) and 9-11-11 (right)

A couple days later, we ventured to the pediatrician for the six month check up. Our big girl weighed in at 15 pounds (30th percentile) and measured 26.5" long (75th percentile). Long and lean like Mommy and Daddy (well, like Mommy and Daddy were). She is right on target developmentally and we got the official go ahead to start solids (even though we technically started a couple weeks prior). We also discussed the hemangioma and laser treatment. I was surprised to learn that C's pediatrician was against it. He was happy with the way it was progressing and was genuinely concerned about scarring from the procedure. I was certainly confused. Which doctor do I trust more?


Then came the dreaded vaccines. Poor baby. It really is so terrible to watch. She got four shots (two in each leg), one of which was a flu vaccine. The flu vaccine always makes me feel terrible the day I get it, so I assumed C would not fair too well. I was right. She seemed fine after we wiped the tears away and made our way home for a crying and car ride induced nap; but that afternoon was filled with unrelenting screaming and crying for what seemed like hours. We then marked another milestone that evening: the babysitter.


Husband had made reservations to celebrate my birthday. Had we realized her check up was that day, we would have picked another night to celebrate. But, the babysitter was booked, the reservation was made, and she seemed to be content enough by the time the sitter arrived. Even though I knew the sitter well and knew she was completely capable, the feeling of leaving her with someone other than close friends or family for the very first time was odd. There was an inexplicable sense of abandonment paired with guilt. I then reminded myself that we were allowed to do this. We were allowed a few hours of grown up time and she would be just fine.


And once I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the evening (with my cell phone in my lap just in case), it was wonderful. We had dinner at Bottega and then, realizing we had precious babysitter time to spare, drinks at a place closer to home. It was refreshing to reconnect with Husband and enjoy a couple glasses of wine interrupted only by the server asking if I would like more. It's so easy to become so consumed in parenthood that you forget about the relationship that existed before. But after a few hours, I missed C and was ready to kiss her sweet cheek.


So now, we are in the midst of six months and it is so busy and so much fun. C is very aware of everything now. She wants to touch things, hold things, grab things and will scoot, climb, and roll until she reached those things. She actually pays attention to the tv now (goodbye Grey's Anatomy reruns, hello Sesame Street), and is mesmerized by music. She sits up tall all by herself.

Watching Baby Einstein in Mommy and Daddy's bed

She is trying so very hard to cut those first teeth. They'll be here any day now. She laughs out loud. She "talks" all the time. Most of the time, she sounds like a pterodactyl screeching and sometimes she sounds like she is almost growling. It's so funny to hear her try out new sounds. She smiles constantly. She is sleeping through the night (occasionally) and is still taking three naps each day (although they are usually only 20-30 minute cat naps). She is eating her first round of purees (peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, pears, bananas) and we have made a couple batches of homemade food so far (peaches and avocado). She LOVES peas! 

Overall, we have a happy, healthy, busy six month old. I have a feeling it only gets better from here.

The Good Stuff

Husband wore his last clean shirt to work today. I have piles of laundry and ironing to do, the last of my thank you notes to finish, and countless household projects awaiting my free time. I have yet to find the time to work out, so I wear the same four outfits each week, my weight annoyingly hovering in between pre-baby and maternity clothes. I am exhausted and in desperate need of a haircut. And to top it off, I am feeling unbelievably guilty about having to give our cat away this week.

But just when I am feeling run down, my sweet baby girl falls asleep in my arms and suddenly, all is right with the world. This is the good stuff:

With C's changes in diet and sleep this week, her schedule has been a little unpredictable, but crashing in my arms is definitely an added bonus. 

The laundry can wait.

A Few Minutes for Mommy

The sun slowly melted into the deep blue lake as I mounted the wave runner and took off on a much needed solo ride. The lake was calm after a short summer rain chased the day's usual traffic back to their docks. I made my way to an empty slue and let the engine idle, taking in the uninterrupted sounds of nature only minutes away from civilization. The scenery resembled a work of art, perfectly reflected in the water's surface, smooth as glass, and I breathed in the warm, humid air that follows a hot summer shower. I was alone, at peace, and recharged.

As I headed back to the house, the wind ripped through my hair, eyes squinted at the sunset. I docked the wave runner, unzipped my life jacket, and went inside to reclaim my role. Twenty minutes of "me" time had passed and I felt rejuvenated as I prepared my daughter's bottle and kissed her warm, pink cheek. Mommy's back.

It is amazing how guilt so easily accompanies motherhood. I spend my days and nights wholly enveloped in this mesmerizing little girl and honestly love every minute of it. But, while every moment of every day now revolves around taking care of another person, so easily I forget to take a moment to take care of myself. In only 20 minutes, I was able to recharge and all was right again; but the guilt associated with wanting to still be a person is palpable. 

I hate that in wanting to grab dinner and drinks with a friend and actually use both hands to eat, I feel a sense of abandonment. My daughter is almost four months old and I can count the times I have left her alone with my sister or Husband on one hand and have yet to hire a babysitter for a much needed date night. 


Don't get me wrong. I love love love being able to stay home with C full time and am so thankful every day that I can; but in order to be the best mom I can be, I can't let go of the person I am. I want my daughter to benefit from having a well rounded mother who has friends and activities outside of the home. I want her to grasp the importance of relationships. I owe it to her and to myself to be a whole person and to have a little "me" time every now and then. I know this. But, will the guilt ever subside? 

My gut tells me it won't.