When You're Weary

I have been in a funk lately. Maybe it's because I've seen Husband a total of 24 hours at best over the past three weeks. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted from being six months pregnant and taking care of my very active two and half year old while Husband has to travel for work. Maybe it's because the "nursery" is still the guest room/laundry room and I have no clue when I will have the time or energy to get it all done. Maybe it's because I bought string cheese last week that expires AFTER my due date. Maybe it's because C is convinced there are dinosaurs in her room and incidentally refuses to sleep with the lights off, waking up multiple times throughout the night to tell me about it. Maybe it's because there is never enough time or enough money or enough patience. 

Maybe I'm just being dramatic. Maybe I'm just letting all the little things pile up and drag me down. Regardless, I'm tired, I'm anxious, and I'm losing my cool. 

So, tonight, I'm sitting down for a few minutes to write about it, even thought I still have to pack C's lunch for tomorrow and pack Husband for this week's travels. Because, after watching a poetry reading online today, I was reminded of what makes me happy - writing. I haven't let myself write lately because something else always seems more pressing than my sanity. I have errands to run and laundry to do and a very cute little girl begging me to stop cleaning the kitchen and come dance in the living room (which I do). I forget to count myself as a person instead of something else on my to-do list. I forget to give myself a break, even if it is disguised as a decaf latte and current pop music while C naps in the car.

I forget that I matter too. I think that's pretty easy to do as a mother. It's not intentional. I realize I'm a person outside of my role as mother and wife, but there isn't always time for me. I can't leave whenever I feel like it and grab a drink with friends. I can't just go for a morning run to clear my head. I can't be spontaneous. There are calendars to coordinate and babysitters to hire and prepping for said babysitters to be done, all while feeling guilty for leaving in the first place.

But this weekend saved me from myself. 

I spent two hours Friday night at dinner with friends. Two whole hours. We laughed and caught up and shared ridiculous college stories and I began to feel whole again.

Saturday, while Husband was in Tuscaloosa for the Bama game, I called a friend and asked if she wanted a latte, I drove to her house, and then, as C woke up from her car nap, we scheduled an impromptu park date. It was exactly what we needed. C got to play with her friends and I got to talk to mine. The stay at home mom world can be a lonely place. Yes, I get to spend my days playing, but sometimes I just need to vent to someone else who understands the stress involved. Sometimes, I need to use big words and laugh at myself and relish in the knowledge that I'm not in this alone. 

Sunday, I helped host a baby shower for my sweet friend and was able to spend time with some of my favorite women, including C and my mom (who let C sleep on her for two hours during the shower). 

Ladies, because of you, I found a little piece of myself this weekend. I found the renewed strength I so desperately needed. I am still tired and anxious and so unprepared to welcome a new life into this home; but I'm also happy and I'm no longer losing it when C colors on the kitchen floor or feeds her dinner to Banks. 

And because I have pregnancy brain and can no longer remember anything, I thought I needed a little reminder, at least for the next three months:

I put it on the fridge. No way I'm missing it there.

Sprinkles, Sprinkles Everywhere

Last night, we had Catherine's friends Ben and Calton over to decorate Christmas cookies. I baked tons of sugar cookies, decorated the table, and placed all of the toppings on the table. There were sprinkles, mini chocolate chips, and M&Ms as well as icing in little squeeze bottles meant to make it easy for tiny toddler hands.

I was prepared for a mess. I really was. But, I'm not sure I was prepared for this level of mess. It was worth the sprinkles in every corner of my house though, because it was so much fun watching the kids decorate, eat, and play together. They ate far more than they decorated, but that's part of the fun, right?

It was so much fun to spend time with friends during the holidays. I'm so glad we have such sweet friends and I look forward to this becoming a tradition each year with our little ones.

Good for the Soul

Girls night is good for my soul. I love my day/night/life job more than anything; but it's nice to be reminded that I am still young and fun and can look pretty when I actually shower and apply makeup and break out the Louis Vuitton instead of the $19 purse from Target with Cheerios floating around the bottom and partially chewed suckers stuck to the lining. 

Plus,you can't beat the company. 

I love these ladies.

Zoo Date

Last Friday, we met my friend Jessica and C's friends Ben and baby Abby for a fun day at the zoo. We set the toddlers free to run and jump and press their little faces up against the exhibits. We ran after them, snapping quick photos, hauling strollers, and providing snacks and sippy cups. I'm pretty sure that in toddler land, it was one of the best days ever.

We started with the monkeys. Of course, Catherine's favorite thing in their exhibit is the ball they have to play with. She got so excited and just pointed and squealed, "ball" over and over again. There was the tiniest little money that came up to the glass to visit. 

It was so adorable watching Ben and Catherine run from exhibit to exhibit. We noticed that C stands up on her toes while Ben squats down to look at the animals. What sweet kids!

We got to feed a giraffe! C loved it, but couldn't quite get the food on the giraffe's tongue, so Mommy had to help. That was one very long tongue!

All three kids were starting to melt down by then, so we headed to grab what we thought would be a quick lunch. Apparently, we chose the busiest time ever and were in line for at least 20 minutes (which in toddler time is an eternity). C downed some cheese and fell asleep in her stroller (which would prove to be her one and only nap of the day) while Ben shoved yogurt raisins in his mouth. We finally got food and C woke up from her tiny cat nap just in time to eat! 

Even though it was painfully obvious how tired they all were, we had to visit the petting zoo before leaving. Catherine LOVES farm animals, goats in particular. She reached her hands into the corrals to pet and feed them. Ben was a bit more reserved and preferred to view from a distance. 

One last shot before the melt downs began... on the tractor!

We had such a fun day with our friends! I love that Ben and C will grow up together. They will love us so much for all these photos one day.

C and Ben on their first date...

Mommy and Me Time

Let's face it, most days are "Mommy and Me" days; but the past few days, we have gone into activity overdrive to make up for Monday stuck inside with a stomach bug. Mommy is pretty warn out today, but it was so worth it!

The weather has been perfect (making our inside sick day even harder to bear), so my goal for Tuesday was to spend as much time outside as possible.

We spent the morning running around the backyard, playing with balls, looking at birds, and laughing at Banks. We ate lunch outside and, after nap time and a snack, we painted outside! I cut the ends off of a celery stalk and a potato to use as stencils; I put her in an old t-shirt, gave her the stencils, brush, and a plate of paint; and I let her do her thing!

Wednesday, we headed to iJump to play with some friends. She had never been in any kind of bouncy house, so I wasn't sure how it would go. But, this girl loves to hop and jump around the house and jumping is pretty much her signature dance move, so I had high hopes. Well, she loved it! She was a bit apprehensive about some things (she will not, under any circumstances, crawl through a tunnel), but overall, she had a blast jumping and running around with Sara and Lyla. Her favorite thing there? The ball pit - just a bigger version of what we have in our living room!

Thursday, we started our day as usual with Kindermusik. I needed to run an errand afterward, so we made a lunch stop first at Edgar's. I got her the usual grilled cheese, but she actually ate most of my chicken instead (big day!); and no trip to Edgar's is complete without a treat. She picked a skeleton cookie. Yummmm!

We planned to go to the McWane Center that evening for an opening of their new Clifford, the Big Red Dog exhibit, so our friend Sara came over to play before we all headed that way.

Then, it was time for Clifford! The girls ran wild in the exhibit. It was a lot of fun and a nice change up to our usual low key evenings.

Whew. It's been a fun week! I'm so lucky to get to spend my days playing with this little angel.